I was ready for Calliope to be born when I hit 38 weeks of pregnancy. And by ready, I mean I was ridiculously optimistic she would come early. So much so that I actually planned on it. Instead of telling myself my due date was November 29, I had myself convinced it was really November 19. And that she would be born on that day, and no other.
Well, November 19 came and went. I was honestly surprised when she didn't make her grand entrance. As Thanksgiving Break wore on, and I still had no baby, I became very... what's the word I'm looking for... hysterical? depressed? weepy? hormonal? insane? exhausted? impatient? ...impatient. Plus all those other things. I called Mom every day and cried about how I wanted to not be pregnant anymore. I got very mad at Mason when he kept telling me to just hold her in a little longer so he could get some more school done before she was born. HOW DARE HE? Didn't he know I was carrying the world's biggest baby around and it was uncomfortable and I just wanted her out so I could get a decent night's sleep and not have back pain anymore? How could he not see that the sooner she was born, the better?
HOW COULD HE NOT SEE THAT???!?!!!??
Well, turns out Calliope and Heavenly Father didn't think my plan was the best, so they chose to wait it out a little longer. Until I was four days overdue. This pregnancy definitely helped me understand the concept of eternity a little better as I waited, and waited, and waited for this baby girl to be born.I was extremely weepy pretty much constantly as I thought of how I desperately wanted to have my baby OUT. The Sunday before she was born I went to church and a friend asked me how I was doing. I cried the rest of sacrament meeting and left at the beginning of the second hour. It was bad.
Saturday, December 3 I took Abby on a walk around the cemetery around 11am and started having contractions. A man I'd never met before asked me how I was doing. I told him I was hanging in there. He said, "You look miserable." Mason was playing DnD, but I would text him every time I thought I was having a contraction and he was keeping track of how close together they were. I had them pretty regularly but they were several minutes apart and we knew it wasn't time to go yet. I kept telling myself it was definitely false labor; I had that happen a few times previously and it got my hopes way way up each time.
Contractions kept coming for a few hours, and my friend Emma offered to take Abby horseback riding around 2 pm. I was very grateful because I was really tired by that point, but I hugged Abby soooo tight before she left. I had a feeling this might be the last time I hugged her as an only child. The next time I saw her everything would be different! I had been mourning that for weeks and cried like a baby when she left. I love her to the moon.
I went on a very short walk with Mason after Abigail left, but I was pretty tired so we turned around after like .2 miles. We got home and I decided to lay on the couch for a minute. I fully expected the "false labor" contractions to stop when I laid down. But after just a few minutes the biggest contraction yet hit me like a ton of bricks- WHAM! I kind of started panicking but was able to calm down after that contraction ended. I decided to jump in the shower to calm myself down. The water was very calming and I had a great time in there relaxing and working through contractions until the hot water ran out. I think one way I coped so well with the contractions was because Mom had told me beforehand to keep my eyes open and just pick a spot to stare at. I did, and I think my eyes being open helped me a ton.
At some point we had begun tracking my contractions through an app made just for that purpose. It told us we should probably head to the hospital. I called Mom and she said the same thing. We already had our bag packed, so we grabbed it and headed out the door. We jammed in the car to Christmas music turned way up, and some other music by Megan Thee Stallion, I think, that was on the radio.
About 15 minutes later we got to the hospital I got out of the car and worked through a couple contractions while Mason went and parked the car in the depths of the parking garage. They were definitely getting pretty intense but I feel like I coped pretty well by keeping my eyes open, trying to relax my whole body, rocking back and forth and exhaling audibly and slowly. I think we got to the hospital around 6pm.
We started on the 100 mile hike to get to Labor and Delivery, which brought back some memories of when I was in labor with Abigail. As we were in the crosswalk to get into the hospital, I had a contraction that stopped me in my tracks. A car had to wait for us because I was blocking the way out. Hopefully he wasn't in too much of a hurry.
This whole time I was in labor I was trying not to get my hopes up too much. I told myself through most of the contractions that it was probably false labor. When the nurse (Trisha-who I LOVED) went to check my cervix I told myself she was going to say I was 1 1/2 cm dilated. But she said I was 4! I was so happy! The nurses told me I needed to decide ASAP if I wanted an epidural, because sometimes it could take a while for the anesthesiologist to get there. I was indecisive for a minute but then told them I would like an epidural. They kept trying to make me sit in the wheelchair so they could wheel me over to the delivery room but I kept having contractions that were a lot stronger and I wouldn't sit down during them. I would stand up and Mason would press on my hips and rock me back and forth. Trisha, the nicest nurse ever, told me as soon as we were done with this next contraction I needed to sit down and she would wheel me super quick to the delivery room. The contraction ended and I sat down and she literally ran me over to the room. The breeze felt LOVELY.
We got to the labor and delivery room and the contractions were very strong. Trisha checked me again and I had dilated to 7 cm. She asked me again if I wanted an epidural and I said no, I could do it without one. I figured it wouldn't take too long to get her out. I got on my hands and knees on the bed and rocked back and forth through a few contractions, and Trisha did something where she pressed just above my tailbone and below my bellybutton that helped me manage the pain. Sure enough, after just a few contractions I felt the urge to push. I told her and she started running around like crazy doing a bunch of stuff and she called the doctor in to break my water.
The doctor, Dr. Marino came in and told me to roll on my back. I really hadn't wanted to push on my back but I kind of forgot in the moment and just did it. I didn't even realize when he broke my water, but he did and then told me whenever I felt like I needed to push I could do it. I had a few moments of calm where I didn't have any contractions and I could just relax. (Well, relax as much as you can when your legs are wide open and there's like 5 people right in front of you.) Then the contractions and the urge to push came on strong, and I screamed my head off and started writhing around on the bed. Everyone told me a million times to calm down and to hold my breath. "Your breath is your power. Hold it in and use it." I did my best but I just couldn't help but yell every time a contraction came. I felt the baby moving down further and further, and finally I felt her head start to come out. Then the contractions kind of stopped again for a while, and I felt the ring of fire. I was very worked up at that point, because WOW, but I said out loud, "I'm ok." After I said that I felt some calmness spreading through my body. I repeated over and over out loud, "Im ok. I'm ok. I'm ok." I felt my body relax and decided I could do this.
The contractions started up again and I quickly began to feel like I was trying to push out a full grown adult. But after just a few more minutes, she was here! After a few seconds I heard her cry and I couldn't hold in my laughter. She was FINALLY HERE!!! HOORAY!
They put her on my chest and I was so happy. I smiled and cried and laughed for a long time. She was perfect. After a while she decided to nurse, and latched right on and did great. The nurses gave us a long time to just be alone in the room.
After a while Mason went to the Dairy Queen across the street and got us some supper and a peanut buster parfait for me. Best day ever.
